How To Get Your Toddler To Stay In Bed At Night

It was a long day, and you can’t wait for bedtime. Deep down, one of your greatest fears looms over you. Will your toddler stay in bed tonight?

The time you have to relax at the end of the night is precious. On some days, it’s the best part of the day. That’s ok. Being a parent is hard, and you deserve to relax too.

You want to sit on the couch without anyone screaming in your ear for more grapes.

You and your partner can sit down with some popcorn and watch a movie, but then you hear the pitter-patter. A door creaks open. You know exactly what’s coming next… a whisper… “Daddy!”

We’ve been there, and I’m going to share some tips that have worked for us. I’m not going to pretend that every night is perfect for us.

I’ve talked to A LOT of other dads and it seems like we have a much higher-than-average success rate. So here are some tips for you.

Keeping Your Toddler in Bed Starts in the Morning

Your toddler has a lot of energy to get out. Just like you, it’s easier to fall asleep after a busy day. The more active you can let your toddler be, the better they will sleep.

We have days that we sit at home all day. It sounds nice to stay at home and relax, but it never works out that way for parents.

Kids start to go stir-crazy from being stuck inside. You’re trying to relax, but they want to get out their energy however they can.

Gentlemen, I know we like to skip the effort needed during the day and still get the benefit we want in the evening. Similarly, you need to put in the effort for your toddler to be active during the day.

• Go for a walk
• Go to a park
• Let them explore the outdoors somewhere
• Run errands with them
• Exercise with them

You have to empty their energy reserves during the day, or they’ll drain yours passed empty at night.

How A Bedtime Routine Keeps Your Toddler In Bed

We all have our methods of winding down for the night. You were about to sit down with some popcorn to watch a movie.

We create habits for ourselves, including how we go to sleep. Your child should have a bedtime routine that tells their brain, “Hey kid, it’s time to go to sleep.”

The bedtime routine needs to help them calm down. Reading their favorite books quietly and slowly has recently been a big help for our kids.

I have another article here that elaborates a little more.

Beating the Hungry and Thirsty Objections

Back in my sales days, there was a tactic we liked to call “8-Miling.” In Eminem’s movie, he used all the bad stuff about himself in his own rap so his opponent couldn’t use it against him.

He stripped him of his ammo.

Do the same to your kids… Strip them of their ammo.

How often do they wake up to tell you that they are hungry or thirsty? We do bedtime pretty soon after dinner. When they are done, we directly ask them, “Are you hungry?”

They might say no, but you know they haven’t eaten enough. It’s not over yet.

We remind them that it’s almost bedtime. We like to give them warnings leading up to bedtime to help them mentally prepare for it. It’s what works for us.

We’ll leave their food on the table. A few minutes later, it’s bedtime. Now we give them the choice to either finish eating or go to bed.

They’ll either run back to the table to eat or just say they don’t want to go to bed. Note that in this scenario, they didn’t say they were hungry.

We don’t want our kids to go to bed hungry, so we really do make sure that they aren’t.

Thirsty? We just let them have their spill-proof water bottles in bed most of the time.

Honestly, our kids never wake up saying they are hungry anymore. We give them every opportunity beforehand, so they can’t use that excuse.

Steps to Keep Your Toddler In Bed

You might be keeping them active during the day. They might not be hungry. They might just have FOMO and want to stay up. What now?

Step 1. Ask them

Toddlers are smart. They might have a reason you hadn’t thought of for being up. You might have forgotten something that they haven’t. Toddlers deserve respect, not punishment.

Step 2. Be Firm

Yes, we need to be patient, but we also need to be firm. It’s not time to play, it’s time to sleep. This is what they need to expect every night.

Step 3. Repeat the Bedtime Routine

Be patient with them. Their bodies are ready to go to sleep. We need to guide their minds there too.

Step 4. Close That Door!

Some parents might not like this, but it works. We close the door and have childproof door handles. They might bang on the door. Give them a minute to put themselves back in bed.

Step 5. Repeat Steps 1, 2 and 4

We aren’t just gonna let them scream themselves to sleep. After a minute or so, we’ll go back in and do steps 1 and 2 again. Skip step 3. If they ask for the routine, tell them you’ve already done it twice. If you really think they need it though, go through the routine again.

Step 6. Be Patient

Some nights are just bad nights for kids. Sometimes it’s a nightmare and they just want comfort and love. This is a problem that won’t fix itself in one night. This is a multiple-night quest you’re taking on.

Other Factors to Consider to Keep Your Toddler in Bed

I want to use this section to focus on environmental factors to consider

• Is it too hot/cold?
• Are they comfortable?
• Is it dark enough?
• Is it too loud/quiet?

Our kids sleep best in the cold. We try to keep the temps in their rooms at 72-73 degrees in the summer. Winter time…?

WHO NEEDS HEAT????

My wife… That’s who…

We keep the thermostat at 68-69 in the winter.

Is their bed comfortable? Maybe they need a different mattress.

Is it dark enough? You might be afraid of the dark, but your toddler probably isn’t. Our oldest used to struggle a lot. That immediately stopped when we put blackout curtains in his room.

Lastly, we are a sound-machine family. Your toddler might hear everything that’s going on downstairs. Who wouldn’t have FOMO in that situation?

My Mother-in-law HATES that we use sound machines. “tHeY wOn’t AlWaYs HaVe SoUnD mAcHiNeS….”

Yes, they will. My 3rd-grade teacher lied to me when she said we won’t always have a calculator. It’s called a phone.

A sound machine might not be for you, but it’s definitely for us.

Conclusion

I know how frustrating these phases can be. Every parent has felt sleep deprivation to an extent. You’re not alone.

There’s a lot to consider when your toddler isn’t sleeping. When your toddler is finally asleep. When your toddler stays in bed. It’s amazing… Enough to bring a tear to your eye.

Stay the course. Be firm. But also be considerate. Be sure that all their needs are being met. Sometimes babies just want to sleep with mom or dad. Put yourself in their shoes.

You used to think that being an adult meant staying up as late as you wanted every night. The truth is that being an adult means wanting to go to bed sooner.

I hope this helps you and your toddler sleep better.