Dealing With The 3-Year-Old Sleep Regression

My goal is to keep parents from getting blind-sided by the 3-year-old sleep regression. I don’t understand why the terrible twos get so much attention. While we were preparing for the terrible twos, we let ourselves get sucker punched in the cheek by ages 3 and 4.

3-year-olds and 4-year-olds have been much more difficult for us to handle than 2-year-olds. Our kids were angels at 2 years old compared to how they were after. They become more independent. They are picky about more things. And they are smart. Holy smokes. They are so smart.

Our little girl seems to have the memory of an elephant when she asks us to fulfill promises that we forgot we made weeks prior. Our little boy delegates everything we tell him to do to his siblings.

What is the most frustrating part of dealing with our 3-year-olds? Bedtime. Our kids share a room, so bedtime has gotten exponentially more difficult. We’ve managed to get through our first 2 kids’ sleep regressions. Here’s what works for us.

What is the 3-Year-Old Sleep Regression?

Up to this point, you’ve conquered multiple sleep regressions. For us, this sleep regression is the most frustrating. The smarter these kids get, the harder it is to get them to go to bed and stay in bed.

The 3-year-old sleep regression happens when your toddler refuses to go to sleep for bedtime and naps. They might be waking up in the middle of the night more. Your mornings start earlier than they used to.

Causes of the 3-Year-Old Sleep Regression

Your child has gone through sleep regressions before. Many of the causes will be the same-ish. Some of the causes for sleep regression are part of their development. Other causes could be part of your toddler’s daily routine that needs to change.

Your 3-Year-Old Is Learning So Much

Your 3-year-old is hitting massive milestones now. When you think about how much they are learning, it makes sense that they wouldn’t want to sleep.

Speech

They are at an age where everything is starting to click. They can carry a conversation with you. They have the best talent for storytelling. They know how to talk their way out of going to bed too. They start to test boundaries and figure out how to stay awake longer.

They ask a lot of questions. You might be finding yourself in the dreadful “why” loop.

Potty Training

You are probably starting to potty train them, which comes with its own challenges for bedtime. Learning to potty train builds a toddler’s confidence as well as your savings account. We have given our kids their spill-proof for bedtime since they were little. We had to take that little cup away when we started potty training.

One night, we were sitting in our room when we heard our oldest come out of his room. The first emotion I felt was panic. Why was he getting up? He’s always been our best sleeper. We waited anxiously as he went into the bathroom, sat himself on the toilet, peed, and went right back to bed.

We were awestruck. We had never been so proud of him before. He will be 5 in a few months and that superstar has only wet the bed a couple of times. We felt very comfortable giving him his water back.

Potty training will keep a 3-year-old up at night. They don’t want to pee themselves once they’ve learned to pee on the toilet. They will wake up either wet or needing to pee. Make sure they pee before bed. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a pull-up on them for a while they are figuring it out.

Nightmares/Night Terrors

We luckily have only dealt with nightmares with our 2nd child, but it’s awful. They were worse when she was 2, but they started up again after she turned 3. Sometimes we would wake up to the sound of her screaming over the monitor.

A blood-curdling scream that invokes so much pure terror in me should not be able to come from such a small little girl. We would go into her room and she would be standing on her bed, screaming.

We lay down with her until she has calmed down enough to be sleeping peacefully. Sometimes that means that I fall asleep with her.

Figure out if there is a show or story that might be causing the nightmares.

Screen-Time

I know that some of us are perfect parents who don’t give our kids any screen time. That short list of parents does not include us. Too much screen time can keep your kids up more at night. The same goes for you. We all should limit our screen time to get better sleep at night.

At this age, we try to limit our kids to 1 hour of screen time per day. My wife is a medical assistant and I work from home, so that’s easier said than done. Winter makes it even more difficult because I can’t send them outside. Limit as much as you can. It might take a while for them to get used to it, but I promise they will.

The Beginning of the End for Nap Time

Long gone are the days that your baby slept for 18 hours of the day. The blissful 2 hour nap time might be coming to an end. Our oldest stopped taking naps at 4, and our second stopped napping shortly after turning 3.

Each kid is going to be a little different, and it will also depend on your circumstances. If you have older toddlers sharing rooms with a baby, the baby’s naps take priority. Sometimes we strap all the kids in the car and take them for a drive hoping that they will fall asleep.

Separation Anxiety

Your toddler goes through phases of separation anxiety. Today they might feel comfortable without you around, and tomorrow they don’t want to leave your side. On nights they are struggling to sleep, it might be caused by separation anxiety.

How to Deal with the 3-Year-Old Sleep Regression

This was our most difficult sleep regression to overcome. Stay strong. Be patient. You can do this.

Stay Consistent

When dealing with sleep regressions, it’s best to stay as consistent as possible. We only want to make small changes. If you try to shift their entire schedule, that much change can worsen the situation.

Bedtime Routines should remain the same. They might need to be slightly longer. If you want to make changes at night, consider changing the environment. The room might be too bright at night. Keep their room at a comfortable temperature. We added a humidifier to our kids’ room and that helped too.