4 Year Old Bedtime: What Time and How To Do It

I thought the terrible twos were supposed to be the hard part. “Terrible twos” rolls off the tongue and is catchy. Putting our 2 year olds down for bed has been easy. Dealing bedtimes for 4 year olds is an entirely different animal.

Our 4 year old is independent and hates being told what to do. Bedtime with him as a baby was easy. He’s been our best sleeper. The only issue is getting him to calm down and lie down. Once he’s down, he’s out for the night. He never gets up in the middle of the night.

So, what have we done to get to that blissful moment? Our 4 year old’s bedtime starts at 6:30. We successfully have him lying down between 7:00-7:30. There are rare occasions that he stays up later, but that is usually on rainy days when he is stuck inside all day.

What Time Should Your 4 Year Old Go to Bed?

We still aim for 12 hours of sleep at night. We rarely get that because he wakes up to the smallest glimmer of sunshine. He usually wakes up between 6:00-7:00. Not bad at all. It feels a lot earlier in the moment.

A 4 year old bedtime should be 11 to 12 hours before they wake up. If your 4 year old wakes up at 8, bedtime should be no later than 9:00. Sleeping in until 8 sounds nice, but my bedtime starts at 9:00. I need some time for myself too.

Give yourself some leeway for the actual bedtime. It might to 30 to 60 minutes for them to go to sleep, so in that case, bedtime should have started at 8:00.

Do They Still Need A Nap?

It depends. Obviously, every child is a little different. We know that our 4 year old would still nap if he let himself. He even puts himself down for a nap occasionally.

We know he still needs the nap because it only takes him sitting in his car seat for 2 minutes to fall asleep.

Why don’t we still put him down for a nap? It’s not worth it most days. He fights it. He gets worked up. Then at that point, there’s no way he’s going to take a nap.

Even though his naps are done, we’re grateful that he sleeps well at night still.

What to do if Your 4 Year Old Refuses to Nap

Naps are over, but you should still have quiet time for your 4 year old. If they don’t want to nap, that’s fine. That doesn’t mean they get to run around the house all day.

While our youngest takes his nap, the other 2 are doing quiet activities. The most common things they do are:

• Drawing
• Painting
• Reading
• Building with Magnetiles

The house is peaceful during that 2-hour window, and I think that peace is what entices them to put themselves down for a nap sometimes.

Tips For a More Successful 4 Year Old Bedtime

Struggling to put your 4 year old in bed? Us too. Anyone who says bedtimes for 4 year olds are easy for them either has infinite patience or is lying. Here are some things we do to have a more successful 4 year old bedtime.

A Dark Room

That room is blacked out. I can barely see where I’m walking in the middle of the day if those curtains are shut. If you have not invested in blackout curtains, I highly recommend them.

Bedtime Routine

You can create whatever bedtime routine you think is best for your toddler. Reading is a staple in every bedtime routine. It’s an excellent habit to give them, and it’s perfect for helping them wind down.

Build a routine that they like to help trigger their brains to know it’s time for bed.

Be Firm

It’s not playtime. It’s bedtime. If he won’t sit down nicely and listen to the story. The lights are out and the door is shut. Our kids enjoy their bedtime routine, so this works for us. They’ll apologize and we’ll continue reading. The important thing is sending the message that it is time to settle down.

Don’t Make Multiple Trips Back

They are getting to this age where they ask for way too much at night. First, they want water. Then they need some stuffed animals. Then they need a different blanket.

It wouldn’t be as annoying if they didn’t wait until you were shutting the door to ask for it. If our 4 year old is in bed and asks for something, I ask him what else he needs. I’m only making one trip. I don’t want to not get him anything. Maybe I’m a sucker, but I will be the Dad that he can count on.

If he keeps asking for me, it’s a ‘no’.

My Toddler Won’t Stay In Bed

I know that for many, Their toddler refuses to go to sleep and will keep getting out of bed. For us, this is only a problem if we don’t let him get out enough energy during the day.

A good bedtime routine coupled with firm parenting will be the most effective way to get them to stay in bed. Consistency is key when dealing with toddlers. Both our toddlers call us out on any inconsistencies.

Keep a regular bedtime and routine. Make sure their room is comfortable and consider making it darker. There’s only so much we can do as parents.

Conclusion

4 year olds still need a lot of sleep. In an ideal world, bedtimes for 4 year olds allow them to get 12 hours of sleep at night. They are growing up. They are more aware of the world. They are learning so much. Life is so exciting for them. Try to be patient with them at bedtime. I know how hard it can be.

Switch from naps to quiet time. That might help them go to bed at night as well. A good sleep environment will help get them in the mood to go to bed.

As your child gets older, there are so many things that can contribute to their sleep problems.

Be a calming presence with them at night during and after bedtime. I wish you all the luck because I know we all need more.